Stupid things women who cheat on their husbands do, by Anurika Onyelemelam

They always seem to have these mysterious headaches when it’s time to have sex with their man…they’re always tired for no reason…and of course, they’ve had a very difficult and tiring day at the office…their boss was a slave driver that particular day…the traffic was just too much to bear that day…so on and on…

These women allow their lovers to bang them left, centre and forward, then come home to complain of headache when their husbands say it’s time for action.
They even allow their lovers to fling their legs to angle 90…for easier and better penetration during bedmatic, yet refuse to give their husbands’ the same treat, satisfactions and latitude!

They always seem to have these mysterious headaches when it’s time to have sex with their man…they’re always tired for no reason…and of course, they’ve had a very difficult and tiring day at the office…their boss was a slave driver that particular day…the traffic was just too much to bear that day…so on and on…
What have I left out?
I just don’t get why they have to collect money from their husbands, to give to their lovers.
Of all stupidities, that beats me the most!
I mean, it’s bad enough that you’re cheating on your husband, but to sweeten your lover by giving him your husband’s money is not just hitting below the belt, it’s just so sickening!

Do you even need to give him money? After all, he’s banging you…what else does he want? Some guys are so shameless!
They must have travelled out of Nigeria, when Baba God was sharing shame and pride.
If he’s collecting your husband’s money, and still bangs you, what then is he contributing to the union?
His prowess in bed?
God, sister! Did you guys hear her?…she said his prowess in bed…is that the only thing you want out of the affair?
I bet most of you remembered the story I told you of a guy who left his young wife and four kids in Nigeria and went to Germany to seek a fortune.
I heard the guy worked like donkey to make sure he sent money home…erase that…delete it! I didn’t hear…I investigated that story myself…I spoke with the guy myself.
He went to the village and looked around the gardens there. He plucked the best of the fruits. She was naïve looking and pretty. He was a business guy…there was money…the babies came one after the other.
Then his business nosedived …he discussed with his wife…told her his plan to try for greener pastures in Germany…the wife was understanding…a good wife is a rare commodity!
Before things went bad financially, he had built a house…it was a massive structure at Okota, Lagos State. This was where he left the wife and kids.
I can’t precisely recollect how long he stayed, but it was for a long time…leaving his young wife…was he stupid or what?

Whatever…the bottom line was that his wife soon took a lover. The husband bought and sent several cars to Nigeria, after working in different factories.
Her lover assisted her in selling and spending the money realized from the sales of the cars.
At a point, they started building a superb structure at Ajah, with the money sent by the husband. I even took out time to go to Ajah to see the building.
It was the husband’s relations that hinted him that his wife was living in his home with a strange guy…that the guy even used to display the air of the owner around the house when the husband’s relations were around.
Needless to say, before the guy ran back to Nigeria, to see things with his korokoro eyes, the lovebirds had flown the nest.
The lovers sold the mansion at Okota and prepared four international passports for the kids, using the woman’s lover’s surname for the kids.
When the guy came to me, to write his story, he was wearing bathroom slippers of all things! He looked tattered and defeated. His shirt hung on his emaciated frame, while his trousers dragged on dusty ground, sweeping areas that Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola’s LAWMA personnel apparently hadn’t done a swell job on.

If you see him, your heart will go out to him…when he came to me, he had not seen his kids…he was desperate…he even wept…said he treated his wife like a queen…and all he got was…hum!
I guessed what hit him the most was the realization that he didn’t have a dime to start a legal battle with his wife and her lover, while they had enough of the ‘husband’s’ money to get the best lawyers. Ironies of life!
I called him a fool in my heart, but he was the person who shot himself on the leg…he dung his own six feet hole…
Who send am message to go to Germany…leaving a young wife alone for the sharks and wolves in Nigeria? Oh, did I tell you guys that he was almost twice his wife’s age, while the wife’s lover was closer to her age?
I believe that age counts and matters in bedmatics performances, but some guys told me it’s not true…so let’s leave the matter here!
I just don’t get why most of these women who have rich husbands end up having affairs with men who can’t afford to buy their shoe laces!
If you must have an extra-marital affair, why not with somebody richer…better looking…more refined than your husband?
If you must chop frog, abeg chop the one wey get egg!
Majority of rich…bored…housewives are even stooping low to do it with the family drivers, gardeners, office assistants, house helps…booh!
But then, the thing no gets respect abi? What’s the different between a driver’s sugar candy and that of a rich guy’s? Na only packaging! No difference ojare!
 

If it comes down to who really knows how to make a babe moan in pleasure and beg for more, the poor guy probably might win the contest…
A rich guy is busy making money…a poor one…frustrated guy is busy, peeing on everything in skirt…if money no come, at least, babes go come…he hones his expertise in his bed.
It’s just my opinion O!
And why the heck must the rich housewives always…usually go for younger men?
I don’t get it! Does it mean that men their ages can’t perform in beds or are monkeys in bed?
A monkey jumps and makes a lot of noise, but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty in bed, he’s just that, a monkey! All noise, but an empty barrel…he can’t leave a babe with a memorable sexual experience.
True, we have old and new schools when it comes to sex, but hey, get a grip!
Even an old school can learn the antics of the new school in bedmatic performances. The issue here is the stamina, excitement to sustain an erection.
How many rich husbands have this stamina? How many are creative in bed? How many are tired of ‘papa and mama’ style of sex in bed?
Humm!…now I get it! Their husbands’ pot bellies hinder penetration and enjoyment?
I didn’t say it…she did! Yes, the bored rich housewife over there…no!…not that one…the one over there…by your left…adorned in golden necklace and bangles…wow! Just look at those jewelry!

I just don’t get why women complain of their husbands’ lack of sexual creativity in bed…complain of his lack of sexual competence in bedmatics…complain of everything little you can think of, yet still hang onto the marriage than quit.
I just don’t get why such women stupidly bring their lovers to their matrimonial homes to ball them…I mean, what about if the husband plants a secret camera or something?
Such a stupid and unnecessary risk!
Moreover, anybody can walk in…from a nosy neighbour to an inquisitive child. The lovers may forget to lock the door in the heat of the moment…the windows may be wide open for all to see the heaving and gyrating buttocks.
The husband can even return unexpectedly…maybe his flight was cancelled…his car developed a fault…maybe his boss asked him to go home because he was suddenly sick…the point is, the guy could come home for any reason…kasala go burst be that O!…kai! God forbid bad thing!…on that day, be sure that Baba fit receive a visitor or visitors.
It had been known to happen…it’s still happening! Even now, it’s happening somewhere, to a couple or lovers!
You guys remember the story I told you some time ago? The wife of a retired soldier, who has a hot pant. A little bird chirped into the ears of the always travelling man that a guy used to come to his home to ball his wife.
The man, as usual, travelled and before one could Jack Robison, the stupid lover, with his rolling gait and impatient manhood was already on top of the woman, balling, kicking and dribbling like he was Jay-Jay Okocha’s grandfather, who invented bedroom soccer!
The guy was already about to let go his steam, when they heard the car of the husband driving through the gate. The gateman sniggered in satisfaction…now we know the little gossiping bird!
The engine of the car had not stopped running when the husband flew out of the car. He made straight for his bedroom. His lovely looking wife was naked as a jailbird on the bed…but no sign of lover boy.

The husband rebuffed his wife’s greeting…he searched round the bedroom and soon found the idiot’s feet sticking out from his hideout…he was hiding behind the huge luxurious window curtain.
The furious husband flung the curtain off…sure enough, the fool was there…naked like the day his mother brought him screaming into this world…his turgid JT that had earlier been strong, stiff, erect and proud, was now cowering in fear…limp as a deflated balloon…scared to look into eyes of the man’s whose wife he had been banging…I even heard that his JT was even shedding the last drop of the tears when the husband found out his hiding place.
I don’t know what happened to the wife, but lover boy was given the beating of his life and thrown out of the compound, butt naked!
I just don’t get why such women are so mean and wicked, to the extent that they’ll get pregnant for their lovers’ then pass the babies’ off to their husbands’ as the man’s biological kids.

Do you know what the truth can do to such a man? There’re weak men who cannot handle such discovery. It can destroy them psychologically…
I’ve heard of an incident in Ogun State where the woman had five children for her rich husband, but only one turned out to be his biological child! This child happened to be last child among the lot.
How did he find out?
Hummmm….that’s a story for another day!…let me know if you want to hear it…yawn…this pen is tired!