Friday, 29 November 2013

One Funny Advantage of Having Mouth Odour


Mouth Odour is not something good to be associated with. There's nothing good about it, true....but there exist a silver lining in every cloud. If MO could be turned on and off it could come in handy on a rainy day in one funny way.

Bad breath or mouth odour as it is more commonly called in Nigeria is a terrible thing to have. Having a smelly mouth can be greatly embarrassing.

You can lose a lot of friends and some respect too. A lot of people have chosen to take an oath of silence like monks to cover up MO. If you’ve been greeting someone and they refuse to exchange pleasantries with you, mouth odour just might be the culprit keeping them mute.

Mouth odour is medically called halitosis and can result from poor dental habits and may be a sign of other health problems. It can be made worse by the types of foods you eat and other unhealthy lifestyle habits.

Anyone having halitosis will most likely seek for a cure and get rid of it immediately it is discovered. However, halitosis can serve as a deadly armour in one’s arsenal. It can be used to cause huge damages, like the one Assad of Syria allegedly used recently, although at a smaller playing ground.

Suppose you are an avid Arsenal FC fan and you guys just got mauled by Manchester United or Barcelona FC. Let’s say you just had a tooth removed that is beginning to smell a lil bit. Let’s assume that Chelsea FC fans are gathered nearby censuring your beloved team and you can’t bear the criticism. All you have to do is walk up to them- and speak. If the smell is not strong enough, raise your voice and make sure you spit while bellowing. This will be enough to make them scatter like a crowd of frightened sheep.

Another ‘advantage’ of bad breath is bullying your opposition to submission in arguments. Let’s say you are being battered right, left and centre by your opponent. He has good points and knows how to lay them down. Why not quickly snack on some garlic and onions? Then face your opponent square in the face and- speak. Simple. Make sure you are in his face and keep talking. If he covers his nose, and/or says some funny thing, speak louder. Don't keep mum. You have to be careful or you might be disqualified.

The gas released will be enough to keep him mute and eventually lose the argument. And trust me, he won’t be picking an argument with you in the future. I’ve discovered that Chelsea FC fans (Nigerian chapter) win almost all of their football arguments. This could be because they knew how to use well the tools at their disposal.

P.S. : I’m not speaking from experience. If you are afflicted with halitosis, please find treatment pronto.

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